This one is a short story about a guy who has died and is done with his funeral. He is now describing the things that he is going through in his grave.I have tried to put a lot of humor into it. Hope you guys like it.
I was expecting my friends and relatives to come to my funeral. But never thought that even my teachers would come to say goodbye. This reminds me of the Airtel’s ad “Har ek friend zaroori hota hai” very true.
Here comes my dad’s best friend and whisper’s in his ears “its time now”. People have lifted me up and very carefully laid me down in my new house. This looks very uncomfortable, I don’t know how I’m gonna survive here. Oppppps!!! How I will spend time here.
For one last time I saw my parents, my best buddies, my teachers and few unknown faces and said “goodbye”.
Post evening, its very dark in here. I can hear footsteps going away from me. I believe everyone left. Now I am wondering what to do. There is no one to talk.
Few minutes later, I hear something. All of sudden I see light coming in; I have never seen such light before. I sense that people are standing on my grave and smoking.
Ohh god everything is shaking here, is it earthquake? No, it’s my grave opening up. For a moment I thought god decided to give me back my life. But that was not the case, I see two tall guys staring at me
The 1st guy said: “U must be Jason”
I said: Yes I am. But who are you?
The 2nd guy said: We are angels.
“Angels” what kind of angels, I asked?
They introduced, we both are angels sent by god to check your records.
Records? Of what, whether I am alive?
Whoever you guys are, what do you want? And do you guys have names?
One said yes we do have. Our names are Sino and Deed.
Lolz!! You guys have funny names.
Sino: I keep records of the sins you did in your lifetime.
Deed: I keep records of the good deeds (if at all you did).
Can I ask one question to you guys?
Sino: If your question is, why are you dead? We don’t have answer for that.
Jason: How did you know I was gonna ask you that question.
Deed: It’s not the first time someone has asked us this question. We hear every day.
Jason: So you guys are professional, hmmm.
Deed: I am happy to see you.
Jason: Y? because I am dead?
Deed: No, because after very long time I have someone who has good amount of deeds.
Sino: It’s always been me who has to keep note of everything that humans do. But this time it was deed that had more job.
Deed: We have all your deeds and sins but will like to hear it from you.
Sino: Tell us something about yourself.
Jason: Were you HR professional before you got in this job? Lolz
Deed: Very funny!!!!
Jason: hmmmm….. As a person I am very creative, quick learner, a team player. People loved my company; they loved me for my jokes and my witty nature. Some even said I have a very good heart.
Sino: hey one quick question to you, were you into sales?
Jason: Yes I was. What’s that gotto do with my death interview?
Sino: These are common lines we hear when we meet sales guys. Lolz
Jason: Can’t help it man!!!! We all are same.
Jason: Hey, do you guys have targets?
Deed: Yes (in soft voice)
Sino: We also have incentives.
Jason: So who is your boss?
Deed: God Almighty ofcourse.
Jason: So what’s your target for this year?
Deed: Mine is 500,000 and Sino is 5000.
Jason: R u serious? U gotta be joking with me. Looks like your boss doesn’t like good people on earth.
Sino: Excuse me for a minute, someone just pinged me!!!
Jason: Man do you use BB?
Sino: Yes we do, you know it helps us to be connected.
Jason: Man what place is this? I am baffled to see an angel using Blackberry.
Jason: Just imagine how Blackberry can use this for their new positioning.”Even angels are on BB, are you”?
Deed: Jason, the Blackberry Sino is using, he earned it as an incentive when he got Osama.
Jason: Guyz you have an amazing job, back on earth we were shown carrots and given peanuts.
Sino: By the way, what’s your company’s name?
Jason: It’s …………….
Sino: No doubt you are here today. Lolz!!
Jason: Is it just two of you? Or there are more people?
Deed: Ohh there are a lot of people in this business.
Jason: You call this as business?
Sino: Y not? It’s the only business which shows 1000% growth every quarter. Lolz!!
Jason: shocking. So what kind of people do you have?
Deed: We have different kind of people working on different profiles.
Jason: Profiles? Like what?
Sino: We have HR people who are accountable for birth and death.
Deed: Excuse me Jason, just got pinged by my finance guy.
Jason: What?
Deed: Ohh KCUF!!!!!!!
Jason: what’s KCUF!!!!!
Sino: We don’t use F....K here, instead we use KCUF!!!!
Jason: That’s insane. Anyways what happen Deed?
Deed: The finance guy just told me that my stocks have crashed!!!!
Jason: Stocks? WTK!!!!!! You guys have stock market?
Sino: Yes we do.
Jason: What do you trade? Money?
Sino: No!!! Money is no good for us. We trade human stocks.
Jason: Human??? Howz that possible?
Deed: Every time a famous person dies, our stocks go boom!!!!!
Jason: No words to say.
Deed: Get used to it homie!!!
Jason: Homie!!!! Man you even use slang. Good to see that.
Jason: Ok tell me, what part of your job you don’t like?
Sino: There are so many things we don’t like. We are always held accountable for stupid acts done
by humans.
Jason: Like?
Sino: Acts done by Hitler, Osama, Saddam, Bush…… it goes on.
Deed: Hey Sino you forgot Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson. Lolz!!!
Sino: Ohh yes. I was there during their act. Lolz!!!
Jason: Man, after listening to you both I feel it’s good I m here now.
Deed: Don’t worry nigger!!! You are in good place.
Jason: Nigger!!!! Man you are totally into hip hop.
Deed: Peace Out Bro!!!
Jason: Hey can you tell me for how long I have to be here?
Sino: Till judgment day.
Jason: It will take centuries.
Deed: Ohh no it won’t. Our top management has got a solution to speed up the process.
Jason: What solution?
Sino: I am sure you are aware about global warming
Jason: Yes I am. But what’s global warming has to do with it?
Sino: Actually it is a campaign we have started to reach judgment day.
Jason: Campaign?
Deed: Yes. Sooner this world ends, will take VRS from this job.
Jason: and do what?
Sino: Chill out in Paradise man!!!!
Deed: Hey Sino, it’s time to leave now.
Jason: No wait. I will get bored. I can’t wait till Judgment day.
Deed: As you have good amount of deeds we can do 2 things for you.
Jason: Ohh great. And they are?
Deed: We can open up heaven’s window from you grave. This way you can enjoy the amazing view of heaven. And just to make you feel good, we have arranged an Ipad for you with 1 free channel till eternity.
Jason: Which channel?
Sino: India TV. Lolz!!!
Jason: Hey tnx. Appreciate your gesture.
Sino: Any time homie.
Deed: Ok Jason. Was nice talking you.
Jason: Same here.
Goodbye.
Waiting for Judgment Day!!!!
Its dusk and the sun is about to say goodbye for one last time. I have never seen sun shining so bright, is it because I am going? Or is it that I never noticed sun like this before?
Slowly as the evening is passing I see more and more people around me. I am sleeping in front of them and its making me embarrassed. I want to leave this place, but I can’t. That’s what god has decided for me.
I hear people murmuring, “he didn’t deserve that.”
I see my mom very quiet today for the first time. Today my mom is not scolding me for sleeping for so long. People are confronting her but she is in no state to stop her tears. I see my dad standing next to me looking lost. I want to tell him one last time “dad I love you, thank you for everything.”
I was expecting my friends and relatives to come to my funeral. But never thought that even my teachers would come to say goodbye. This reminds me of the Airtel’s ad “Har ek friend zaroori hota hai” very true.
Here comes my dad’s best friend and whisper’s in his ears “its time now”. People have lifted me up and very carefully laid me down in my new house. This looks very uncomfortable, I don’t know how I’m gonna survive here. Oppppps!!! How I will spend time here.
For one last time I saw my parents, my best buddies, my teachers and few unknown faces and said “goodbye”.
Post evening, its very dark in here. I can hear footsteps going away from me. I believe everyone left. Now I am wondering what to do. There is no one to talk.
Few minutes later, I hear something. All of sudden I see light coming in; I have never seen such light before. I sense that people are standing on my grave and smoking.
I told to myself,” can’t they show some respect”?
Ohh god everything is shaking here, is it earthquake? No, it’s my grave opening up. For a moment I thought god decided to give me back my life. But that was not the case, I see two tall guys staring at me
The 1st guy said: “U must be Jason”
I said: Yes I am. But who are you?
The 2nd guy said: We are angels.
“Angels” what kind of angels, I asked?
They introduced, we both are angels sent by god to check your records.
Records? Of what, whether I am alive?
Whoever you guys are, what do you want? And do you guys have names?
One said yes we do have. Our names are Sino and Deed.
Lolz!! You guys have funny names.
Sino: I keep records of the sins you did in your lifetime.
Deed: I keep records of the good deeds (if at all you did).
Can I ask one question to you guys?
Sino: If your question is, why are you dead? We don’t have answer for that.
Jason: How did you know I was gonna ask you that question.
Deed: It’s not the first time someone has asked us this question. We hear every day.
Jason: So you guys are professional, hmmm.
Deed: I am happy to see you.
Jason: Y? because I am dead?
Deed: No, because after very long time I have someone who has good amount of deeds.
Sino: It’s always been me who has to keep note of everything that humans do. But this time it was deed that had more job.
Deed: We have all your deeds and sins but will like to hear it from you.
Sino: Tell us something about yourself.
Jason: Were you HR professional before you got in this job? Lolz
Deed: Very funny!!!!
Jason: hmmmm….. As a person I am very creative, quick learner, a team player. People loved my company; they loved me for my jokes and my witty nature. Some even said I have a very good heart.
Sino: hey one quick question to you, were you into sales?
Jason: Yes I was. What’s that gotto do with my death interview?
Sino: These are common lines we hear when we meet sales guys. Lolz
Jason: Can’t help it man!!!! We all are same.
Jason: Hey, do you guys have targets?
Deed: Yes (in soft voice)
Sino: We also have incentives.
Jason: So who is your boss?
Deed: God Almighty ofcourse.
Jason: So what’s your target for this year?
Deed: Mine is 500,000 and Sino is 5000.
Jason: R u serious? U gotta be joking with me. Looks like your boss doesn’t like good people on earth.
Sino: Excuse me for a minute, someone just pinged me!!!
Jason: Man do you use BB?
Sino: Yes we do, you know it helps us to be connected.
Jason: Man what place is this? I am baffled to see an angel using Blackberry.
Jason: Just imagine how Blackberry can use this for their new positioning.”Even angels are on BB, are you”?
Deed: Jason, the Blackberry Sino is using, he earned it as an incentive when he got Osama.
Jason: Guyz you have an amazing job, back on earth we were shown carrots and given peanuts.
Sino: By the way, what’s your company’s name?
Jason: It’s …………….
Sino: No doubt you are here today. Lolz!!
Jason: Is it just two of you? Or there are more people?
Deed: Ohh there are a lot of people in this business.
Jason: You call this as business?
Sino: Y not? It’s the only business which shows 1000% growth every quarter. Lolz!!
Jason: shocking. So what kind of people do you have?
Deed: We have different kind of people working on different profiles.
Jason: Profiles? Like what?
Sino: We have HR people who are accountable for birth and death.
Deed: Excuse me Jason, just got pinged by my finance guy.
Jason: What?
Deed: Ohh KCUF!!!!!!!
Jason: what’s KCUF!!!!!
Sino: We don’t use F....K here, instead we use KCUF!!!!
Jason: That’s insane. Anyways what happen Deed?
Deed: The finance guy just told me that my stocks have crashed!!!!
Jason: Stocks? WTK!!!!!! You guys have stock market?
Sino: Yes we do.
Jason: What do you trade? Money?
Sino: No!!! Money is no good for us. We trade human stocks.
Jason: Human??? Howz that possible?
Deed: Every time a famous person dies, our stocks go boom!!!!!
Jason: No words to say.
Deed: Get used to it homie!!!
Jason: Homie!!!! Man you even use slang. Good to see that.
Jason: Ok tell me, what part of your job you don’t like?
Sino: There are so many things we don’t like. We are always held accountable for stupid acts done
by humans.
Jason: Like?
Sino: Acts done by Hitler, Osama, Saddam, Bush…… it goes on.
Deed: Hey Sino you forgot Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson. Lolz!!!
Sino: Ohh yes. I was there during their act. Lolz!!!
Jason: Man, after listening to you both I feel it’s good I m here now.
Deed: Don’t worry nigger!!! You are in good place.
Jason: Nigger!!!! Man you are totally into hip hop.
Deed: Peace Out Bro!!!
Jason: Hey can you tell me for how long I have to be here?
Sino: Till judgment day.
Jason: It will take centuries.
Deed: Ohh no it won’t. Our top management has got a solution to speed up the process.
Jason: What solution?
Sino: I am sure you are aware about global warming
Jason: Yes I am. But what’s global warming has to do with it?
Sino: Actually it is a campaign we have started to reach judgment day.
Jason: Campaign?
Deed: Yes. Sooner this world ends, will take VRS from this job.
Jason: and do what?
Sino: Chill out in Paradise man!!!!
Deed: Hey Sino, it’s time to leave now.
Jason: No wait. I will get bored. I can’t wait till Judgment day.
Deed: As you have good amount of deeds we can do 2 things for you.
Jason: Ohh great. And they are?
Deed: We can open up heaven’s window from you grave. This way you can enjoy the amazing view of heaven. And just to make you feel good, we have arranged an Ipad for you with 1 free channel till eternity.
Jason: Which channel?
Sino: India TV. Lolz!!!
Jason: Hey tnx. Appreciate your gesture.
Sino: Any time homie.
Deed: Ok Jason. Was nice talking you.
Jason: Same here.
Goodbye.
[Folks I hope u like it]
lolz!!!!!!!! ROLF.. This is brilliant stuff... & the potential of this story is tremendous.. i Mean i can make it into a mini comic strip series...
ReplyDeleteNICE!! Keep up the good work!
it was awesome bro...... great job i liked it .
ReplyDeleteall the best ...keep writing such amazing stuff....
Enigmatic mind thnks for appreciating. I would like to see a comic series of this.
ReplyDeleteRohan More thnk u for the motivation, thr is more to come (see im using "more" lolz!!)
ReplyDelete